The Fear & The Lessons

The Fear & The Lessons

All this talk of redefining my idea of success and analysing the people who inspire me seems to have opened me up in ways I'm not sure I can fully explain yet. I've been doing a lot of work on myself just lately, and it feels like it's starting to click. 

The last few weeks have been incredibly hard. I've struggled with just about everything and have found being around lots of people, putting up a front and being ok hasn't worked, eventually the cracks show and the tiniest thing feels like the end of the world. Queue massive over reaction!

In the last few days I learnt that one of my fears was actually true, so definitely not a small thing. I'd known that for a long time but been in denial about it so when it came to a head it felt brutal and filled with lots of shouting and tears. To me it felt like my whole world was crashing down, like everything I believed and valued wasn't real. It felt like I was somehow separate, like I was removed from everything, watching it unfold in front of me rather than actively participating, even though I was. 

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